fucked up my sleep schedule again, going to bed at like 4/5 am and waking up at 2 pm. it makes me feel bad. updown mood. bad thoughts that i dont want to put online, really.

alex g headlights released last night. made myself wait to listen to it until not the middle of the night. i really like it.

finished marble hornets, i dont even remember writing on here a few days ago. not up to much, rain all day today. woke up once around 8 to do something that was important, went back to bed after. woke up again at about 12:30, panicked, thinking i forgot to do what i needed. went to a friends yesterday for a few hours. weird dreams. getting into animal collective

updown mood lately, less today. listened to a handful of albums id been meaning to yesterday night. waking up later and later in the day, terrible. i started watching marble hornets again. i tried getting into it 2 years ago but i forgot about it pretty early into the series.

will hopefully maybe record stuff onto a blank cassette tomorrow. will hopefully maybe wake up at a normal time tomorrow.

really did clean stuff yesterday. more organized. figuring things out. not up to much besides that. im already worrying about classes starting again.

dream journal that i started in 2023 is starting to run out of pages. the whole thing has around 300 some pages, i think if i try i can make it last to the end of this year. sad at the thought of not writing in that specific one anymore.

nothingday spent sleeping in until 3. hung out with friends on sunday and had fun, it was raining so we stayed inside and made brownies. nothing has really been happening thats super worth writing about. i have 4 cassettes now

trying to plan out stuff i can do to make things less of a mess/more bearable.. tomorrow i need to sort through clothing and get rid of stuff i dont wear and stuff i cant wear for whatever reason. maybe ill clean out some of my weird dresser/vanity thing? theres stuff in there that isnt mine, since the entire thing originally wasnt mine. writing it down makes me feel obligated to do it so maybe i will actually get these things done.

uneventful yesterday as per usual. intended to watch a series i started a while ago but never finished- i got distracted looking through old note/sketchbooks, and then messages. i used to message people one-on-one more often. i think i forgot how to have fun with art.

very nostalgic lately i guess? more than usual. i dont know why. lots of looking through old things.

i dont usually write about anything dream related on here but right before i woke up yesterday various meme-format images started popping into my head that were related to liberals and egg prices and i felt the need to recreate them. when i sent these to my friends one of them complained about never having cool dreams i do not think this is cool its just Strange. putting these here because it might be the one interesting thing on this site

okay today. lately ive had a problem with going to bed at about 6am and waking up at 2pm- hopefully i can reset this. last night i was messing around online, particularly on google maps. listening to twin fantasy and exploring various towns on californias coast. started writing the first chapter of a comic. today i woke up at about 12:30, right before we had to leave. i guess its my fault cause i knew we were going out but didnt bother to ask what time. went to a restaurant with family. awkwardquiet and sitting staring at the ground because i dont know how to talk to them. listening to whatever they had to say. returned home and got to cleaning up some areas of my room. i still need to move some stuff around but i think im getting somewhere.

cleaned off surfaces with dustcovered items. attempting to make my room less of a terrible mess this summer. today i keep thinking its the 14th. i have some stuff i need to throw away still. tomorrow i want to move some stuff out of my closet.

went out for dinner today with my parents and mom started crying. too much talk and thinking of people or pets dying. got that strange feeling i cant describe before getting in the shower and it very much hasnt left. maybe i will delete this later.

thought i wrote yesterday but apparently not. ive been sickish for the past few days and i think its finally clearing up- i thought it was on the 8th but i guess not. today was uneventful, woke up at 2:30. not much happening in the summer unfortunately.

will finally get on to remaking the site. i think for now ill still keep pages like this plain but i want to do something with my homepage. i think it looks bad. ill mess around on notepad in a little bit.

got to walk around a little with 2 friends today- left earlier than intended because their family was busy. spent most of our time at the record store. rainy once i got home.

very bugscared today? feeling things crawling on me and thinking i see bugs and then having Real bugs come near me or get on me. earlier i felt the need to check anything i picked up for bugs on it. i dont know where this came from? i feel awkward with writing today

thinking of how i could redesign the site. its lame and has been lame. this is the main thing ive been focusing on for the past hour or so despite not knowing what to change about it. i will make a shitty sketch later. new words page also.

not sure if ive updated much with my current lifesituation. its not interesting. i got diagnosed with autism, upped my grades. school is over for now. i have time to make art again! i could sit outside or watch a movie! amazing! no worries about people looking at me everyday, not for a while. i dont like people being able to see how awkward i am. online is nice because i can choose what i put out there or what others see.

hanging out with friends tomorrow. i hope to actually get out of the house this summer. its harder now since i dont quite have transportation most of the time and i live farther from town- if i want to get anywhere itd require walking on the side of a highway. i dont like the idea of that. itd be easier if i could drive myself but i dont think itll happen soon since i started crying when i tried backing out of a driveway. someday?

typing on a phone from an awkwardquiet classroom. later i want to update this and re-do the site, im unhappy with it.

weirdschedule today, classes are much shorter and i dont know when anything ends. later is an assembly i hope to avoid. i was allowed to use a spray seal thing for artwork i was scared to take home (mediums came off very easily). sitting across from my friend who keeps kicking me. very nerve wracking typing on here, my brain tells me anyone in this room could look over or pass by and see what im typing. im afraid of others judgement.